two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
