my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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