actually, I'm a sock model
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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