I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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