Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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