i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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