whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
