I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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