Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
