____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
