I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Say something about gay babies.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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