4 words: hood of his car
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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