just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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