well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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