I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
