one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think im going to throw up on grandma
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Randomize
