Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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