theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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