Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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