Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
