I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
