Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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