im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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