This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
