come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
