My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
