if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
