when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
