Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
