whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize