Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
