I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
