Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
