I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
