Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
