Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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