If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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