So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's like God shit irony all over that family
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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