I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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