Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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