There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Bring me that man meat
I said "one day" and that day is not today
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
