I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
