I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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