he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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