Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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