it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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