I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
