you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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