you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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