I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
