They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
