So drunk its hurt
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
