He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Pappa wants mamma naked
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
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