That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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