Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
