She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We got so high we made milksteak
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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