So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
last night I used snow as a chaser
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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