Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
