carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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