I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize