Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Yo dont text me then not text me
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
