How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
