I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
