How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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