things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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