so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
