I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
