I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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