If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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